Books is good

You're in love with my book collection? Sweet. Why don't you touch my first edition copy of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. It may be old, but the cover hasn't gone soft. You've never heard of it? Oh. I don't care. Touch it.

Let me thumb through your paperbacks. I'll be quick. I don't even care if they're dime-store novels. I'm not picky. And I'll be quick. Did I mention that? You won't even feel a thing. Oh, Dan Brown. Nice. I've heard things about this one.

What? Did you just call me "too short"? I'll have you know it takes me days to read those poetry books--a week to finish Jewel's, Tupac's, and Jim Morrison's.

This can work. Us. We both like Calvin and Hobbes. We'll base the relationship on that. You read Garfield? Far Side? Where's Waldo? Oh, you're in for a treat. This is Jumanji. You'll love it.

I think I'm in love with you. Let me see what's in your night stand. Is this Ramona? Is this How to Eat Fried Worms? Is this Ernie Goes to the Doctor?

Whoa, wait a minute. I'm going to have to re-think our situation. Read this. It's a Magic Eye book. There aren't any words, but it's like jazz. What's important are the words that aren't being said. That's what makes it so great.

This is too pretentious for you? Oh, so sorry to over-step my bounds. This isn't going to work. If you can't focus in on what's beyond the page, if you can't see that clown back there, then we're through. It's over. I'm taking back my copy of The Day Jimmy's Boa Ate the Wash.