Daily Musing

You can't decide which was worse: The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas or Miracle at St. Anna.  Both were just so god-awful.  Just wondering.

Daily Musing

Too much mayonnaise is still not enough for the sandwich artists at Subway.  They slop that shit on like it's a cure-all.

Daily Musing

Why in the hell did you rent The Tale of Despereaux?  

Creep.

A Good Run

With a save like this, you'd think the Hawks would have pulled out a crucial road win.  It just wasn't meant to be.  The Detroit Red Wings eliminate the Hawks in OT in game 5 of the conference finals.

I didn't expect the Blackhawks to make it this far; and when they got here, I didn't want to see it end without a chance for the cup.  Huet made 44 saves in this series-deciding game--none better than this one, though.  

Side note: it's pretty hilarious to hear an announcer use the word "tummy" when describing the actions of a hockey player.

Go Pittsburgh.

Back in Mankato

And I brought old pictures (the print kind, not digital ones).  I'm going to scan some and post them here.  Only embarrassing ones.  That includes an awkward family photo.

There's a book review coming today. I promise.

Edit: Why do I make promises I can't keep? I'm not going to have the review up tonight. There's still a butt load of stuff I need to do before making the trek up to Mankater. The thought of tomorrow is pretty overwhelming right now. Depending on when I get back to Minnesota (which obviously depends on when I get out of here), I might not have the time or enery to post the review tomorrow, either. We'll see. No promises. On that front, I'm an oh-for at this point.

Daily Musing

Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs: Prime example of showing up twenty years too late to the party.

You first hearing about this band for the first time last month: Prime example of how out of touch you are with pop culture.

Daily Musing

Your mom asks you to wake up early in order to clean the family room before the cleaning lady arrives, and--for some strange reason--this makes sense to you.

What doesn't makes sense is the fact that the cleaning lady likes to talk about you to your mom in Ukrainian, while you're standing just a few feet away.

Daily Musing

100 people surveyed by Family Feud were asked to name a phrase--a phrase--that contains the word "snow."  

When it came time for Junior to give his answer during the final round, he said, "Let it snow."  Not bad.  J. Peterman then revealed that only 3 of the people surveyed felt the same way.  It was Junior's sister's turn.  She responded to this question by saying, "Snowflake."  13 people agreed, and this turned out to be the second most popular answer.  The first--with 14 responses--was "Snowball."

Unless these single words are used in an inquisitive or exclamatory way--Snowflake? Snowball!--how can they be classified as phrases?  It's also frightening to think how varied the responses were, considering the first and second most popular answers only amounted to 14 and 13 matches, respectively.  

100 people were surveyed; how many misunderstood the question?

Daily Musing

Billy Mays has a reality TV show.  It's called Pitchmen and airs Wednesday nights on The Discovery Channel.  Fantastic.

Live Nude Books

The new book blog is up and running.  I wanted to start things off with a review of The Septembers of Shiraz by Dalia Sofer--not exactly a new release; however, it is a first book from an emerging writer.  I wrote the review awhile back, but it's nowhere to be found on my hard drive.  It might be on a jump drive I left in Mankato; I'll have to check when I get back next Tuesday.  If it's on the jump drive, I'll post it on Sunday, May 30th.  I'm not sure if I'll write a new review for the book if I can't find the original review, since the hardcover edition was released two years ago.  Either way, it's worth reading.  On tap for this Sunday: The Turtle Catcher by Nicole Helget.  Click here to check out the new site.

Book Blog

I've spent the last six hours searching for a book review. It was supposed to be the first post on the new site; however, I cannot find it. If you'd like to know the site address, I'll give it to you. But keep in mind, there's really nothing to see at this point.

George Saunders

Daily Musing

Staining garage trim all day postpones the launch of a new blog.  

Tomorrow.

Daily Musing

Book blog launches tomorrow night.  Site address will be posted here.

Daily Musing

Just because there's a buy one, get one free deal at the supermarket, it doesn't mean you have to take advantage of it.  Example: 48 count box of fish sticks.  

Never again.

Daily Musing

Blond Treehorn Thug from The Big Lebowski is Jacob (the heavy-handed, god-like character) on LOST.  That's about the only thing that makes sense on the show--the fact they got that boner to play such a seemingly important character.

On the other hand, it has been nice to see former cast members of Deadwood (a show that doesn't rely on cop-outs and plot twists) make appearances on LOST.

Kim Dickens - Joanie Stubbs (DW), Cassidy Phillips (L)

Robin Weigert - Calamity Jane (DW), Rachel (L)

William Sanderson - E.B. Farnum (DW), Oldham (L)

Titus Welliver - Silas Adams (DW), Man #2 (L)

Daily Musing

There's a big difference between the ice tongs and the grill tongs.  You know this, now.  But at what cost?

Daily Musing

You like the fact that our president supports the arts.

Daily Musing

You willed it, and they won.  Bring on Detroit/Anaheim.

Daily Musing

No more "Pony."

Terry Kath-Era Chicago

"Ballet for a Girl in Buchanan"

Part 1


Part 2

Daily Musing

Irony: David Hasselhoff is a judge on a show called "America's Got Talent." 

Daily Musing

Your internet still doesn’t work; the picture on your TV isn’t as sharp as it was three days ago.  You call Charter.  The automated lady talks you through each troubling-shooting step.  At one point she says, “Unplug the modem,” followed by, “Do you feel uncomfortable performing this step?”  How considerate.

Then she requests one of the following responses: “Yes,” “No,” or “What’s a modem?”

You press zero, opting to speak to a live person. 

After the operator determines you’ll need a visit from a technician, he tells you, “As a courtesy from Charter, we’d like to upgrade your internet service from 5 megs to 10 and provide you with a new convertor box, which will give you a better picture and allow you access to our On-Demand feature.”  Score.

He continues, “I will set this up, and you will be charged an extra five dollars a month.”

You wonder, Did he ask me if I wanted this, or did he just tell me that this was how it’s going to be?

At the very least, he was polite.  Which means you can’t accuse him of misrepresenting the company.

Daily Musing

 You agree with all of Scoop's reasons why Chicago should have its own ESPN site.

Daily Musing

The reception on your TV is fair at best, and for some reason, you don't have access to your internet signal.  Thank God your neighbors don't have their wireless signal password protected.  And thank hulu for making almost every episode of "Dream On" available online.

Daily Musing

Yu's.  Damn good food, right?  Absolutely.  And the fortune cookies?  Well, they're so good, yours is stuffed with two fortunes.

The First: "Investigate the new opportunity that will soon become an option."

Lotto Numbers: 15 23 41 43 44 46

The Second: "You shouldn't overspend at the moment.  Frugality is important"

Lotto Numbers: 3 10 15 23 24 41

Wait a minute.  How are you suppose to explore this new opportunity if you're not allowed to overspend.  Maybe the cookie got it wrong.  Look at the numbers.  Only a few are different, like some indecisive kid filling out multiple NCAA brackets.  It's not enough simply to change the outcome of a few first round games.  That won't keep you covered.  The Final Four needs to change, too.

Daily Musing

Reasons why you wash grapes before eating them:

-Dirt

-Pesticides

-Insect feces

-They're coated in that white layer of dusty film

-Other people have touched them

-Some of them tried to escape during checkout and rolled onto the conveyor belt--the same conveyor belt a woman placed her baby on after smelling its diaper and gagging

-Eating unwashed fruit can give you diarrhea (You saw this on an episode of "The Doctors")

-It makes baby Jesus cry.

Daily Musing

Sentences like this make you wonder whether you're an effective teacher:  "I defiantly learned to not take classes taught by foreigners."

This is the last sentence of the student's essay.  It's the only line of reflection in the piece.  In class, you focused on how to end personal narratives.  You showed them examples by Susan Orlean, David Sedaris, and Gary Soto.  Images, insight, avoiding the TV show "This is what I learned" ending.

This is a white girl complaining about an Asian professor, and she makes a sweeping generalization with this final sentence.  She uses the wrong adverb.  She splits an infinitive.  

You'll probably give her a B in the class and hate yourself for it.

Daily Musing

First off, why the hell does this exist?

And second, why is it that this commercial only airs on weeknights at 1 am? Who's the target audience, here?