The idea: when snow accumulation reaches at least three inches on the streets, you're not allowed to park your car on them. This way the plows can remove the snow in one fell swoop. The big problem: the shitheads that came up with this idea didn't consider (or inform the drivers) where all the cars could be moved to. Scratch that. They used to have parking on alternating sides of the street, where you park on this side of the street one night, park on the other the next--we'll call it Dre for short (wait for it). But that was when a lot of the streets were one-ways. This past summer, the shitheads changed most of those to two-ways and then forgot about Dre (there it is). It's kind of a you-deal-with-it sort of solution. A shitty one, at that.
I've let my car sit out front until I've seen the flashing light caravan of tow trucks and snow plows riding down Broad. Then it's a race to get the gear on, get outside, and move the car before I get towed. With Mankato's new we-only-tow-side-streets-after-the-snowfall-has-stopped policy, the chance of a clean break from the curb and the tow trucks diminishes. According to that article, the changes to Mankato's plowing policy have to do with budget cuts. I wonder how much the drivers of the gold Toyota Camry and the green Saturn that collided at the corner of Broad and Walnut could sue the city for because their accident was caused by 1.) the six foot pile of snow on the parkways that blocks the view of any cross-traffic, and 2.) the amount of yet-to-be-cleared snow on the streets that made braking an impossibility. How does that figure into the budget? Because that's the third accident at this intersection since December 30th.
Anyway, once it stops snowing and the emergency has been declared, I hate now knowing when they're going to clear my street. Depending on the time, I don't have anywhere to park my car. According to one of my neighbors, the Wells Fargo parking garage down the street is fair game between 7pm and 6am. Last night I decided to give that a go, but I couldn't help but worry if this was the night where Wells Fargo would say, "Nuh-uh. You can't park here." I'm basing the okay on (at the very least) second-hand intel. I parked there anyway, because just like Richard Gere in An Officer and a Gentlemen, I had nowhere else to go.
Just before midnight, my street hadn't been plowed. If I hadn't had (unconfirmed) access to the garage, where would I have been able to park for that long? This "city" is not very big, and these huge fucking plows they use clear the streets in two or three passes. Especially when no one is parked on them. What's taking so long? I know that not everyone moves, and they either plow those cars under or wait. There's also traffic. Yes, I know these things. But if that's the case, why start the snow emergency during "rush hour"? Traffic after seven on days like this is pretty minimal in Mankato. If they're willing to let the snow collect on the streets for as long as they do, why not wait a little longer? Maybe I'm oversimplifying this whole thing.
It got pretty late, close to 4, and I had two options: stay up until the plows clear the road, or wake up early to do the same thing. Either way, I needed to be out of the parking garage by 6am. My mind had shut off, so getting work done was out of the question. I decided to stay up late, so I watched a movie on Hulu. Hardcore with George C. Scott. (Damn good movie; thoughts on it at a later date.) Around 5am, I looked outside and saw that the roads hadn't been cleared. There were, however, three cars parked on my street. I couldn't stay awake any longer and went outside to scope out the situation.
The street was clear around these three cars, and there was enough room between two of them for my car to fit. I was under the impression that if the roads have been cleared during the snow emergency, you could park on the street. So I moved my car from the garage into this free space and went back to my apartment, ready for bed. Then, at six am, on the threshold of sleep, the plow came by. I separated the blinds to check on the progress. Two passes and the road looked slick and smooth. Where I parked, though, a three inch tall mound of snow outlined the row of cars. By no means was this enough snow to be considered plowed in. The outline didn't even push up against any of the car tires. If they were to tow my car, I totally would have been able to fight it. I tried falling asleep, but couldn't. Even if I would win the fight, my car still could be towed, and I didn't want to go through the hassle of reclaiming it and going to a government office on a day when I needed to get shit done before the semester starts. So I put on all my gear, went outside, and moved my car to a clear spot on my side of the street.
Sho 'nuff, the next day all three of those cars got towed so the plows could clear out the outline of snow. This was one time when my paranoia paid off. But seriously, that's complete bullshit that they towed those cars. I'm guessing the city's trying to recoup some of the cost of having to pay the plows, what with all the budget cuts and shit. I know budget cuts are necessary when the economy's in the shitter, but plowing the roads in a town that might as well be in the arctic seems like a priority to me. We shouldn't have to pay for these operating costs at the expense of our cars, our time, and our worry. The fact that it took them 24 hours to clear all the downtown streets in Mankato--Man-fucking-kato, not Manhattan or even a real city--after going through all this snow emergency bullshit is ricockulous. I'd like to go make yellow ice all over the street, but the current temperature is -15 and I fear my sidekick has already holed up inside for the evening. Fuck everything about you, Mankato.
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