Codebreaking messages from the socially inept

Here's a transcript of an actual voicemail message left by my dad:

"Hey, this your [click].

It's your dad.

[pause]

Nathaniel Philbrick."

My dad's name is not Nathaniel Philbrick. It's Denis. Or Robert, depending on which government agency or bill collector might be trying to contact him. Nathaniel Philbrick is the author of a new book on General Custer's Last Stand. My dad bought the book because one of his relatives, Dr. James Madison DeWolf, was among the first four members of Custer's regiment to die at the Battle of Little Bighorn. This voicemail message was his way of telling me that he bought the book.