Monday, October 25, 2010

The Fall of Oh-Ten

I have such a difficult time getting out of bed on days like today, when it should be colder or warmer than it is, but gray clouds, sporadic breezes, and humidity confuse mind and body into feeling every which way but right. The weather's been like this for the past three days, and I can't seem to shake the sense of being weighed down.

There's been an inconsistency with sound outside, too. On Saturday, Obama was at the U for a Mark Dayton rally, making Minneapolis a virtual no-fly zone for the better part of the afternoon. Since we live only seven miles from the airport, I usually hear planes taking off and landing. That wasn't the case on Saturday, and it cast an eerie silence over the day, like I was in a constant state of waiting. Like I couldn't go on living my life until I heard the sound of jet engines accelerating through the tropospheric barrier.

Then, yesterday, I went for a walk and could hear planes taking off and coming in for landings, but the cloud coverage was so thick I couldn't see them. Which threw my bearings totally out of whack. Hearing those planes overhead but not being able to see them made me wonder where exactly they were located in relation to my walking route. If one happened to break apart midair, I didn't like not knowing where the debris would land.

Not being able to see those planes made me question my sanity. What if they weren't really flying? What if the sound I was hearing was just in my head? Should I have asked the woman who was walking her dog if she could her them, too. (I seriously thought about it.) I had to talk myself down and realize that the anxiety was all in my head.

Maybe it's just the pre-winter jitters, or maybe I'm stressed about not hearing back from potential employers. Whatever the case, I'm not a fan of these cold, gray days.

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