Grow Up

One of the reasons I love watching football is to hear the inadvertent sexual innuendo created by the play-by-play guys who are using terms relevant to the game. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m too immature, a child with his mind in the gutter, a pervert. Maybe I’m making comments sound dirtier than they really are. Next time you watch a game, really listen to what the announcers say. I might be on to something. You tell me.

Here are actual phrases and snippets from football commentators:

• The O-line prevents any further penetration
• He sneaks in unmolested
• Sack production numbers
• Ball’s loose, ball’s out, the ball’s been stripped—anything pertaining to the word “ball”
• Anytime you’ve got a red hot quarterback, you’ve gotta run that spread
• He fires one right in that hole
• The Packers take a pounding, The Packers are getting punished, The Packers, Packer fans—anything pertaining to the word “packers”

I rest my case.