Cubs Rant. One of many in a perpetual series.

With the start of the 2008 baseball season just a month away, there is one thing that I will not be looking forward to as a Cubs fan (aside from them sucking ass). This year will mark the 100th anniversary since the team last one a World Series title. And I'm sure that this fact will be brought up during every game, every highlight show reporting the results from Cubs games, and the likely production of countless segments from ESPN reiterating the fact, ad nauseum. ESPN loves overkill. They live for it. In addition to the constant reminders from every media outlet, I will most likely receive shit from friends and peers--most of whom are Sox fans, though there are a few Cardinal fans, too. Quite frankly, I welcome the trash-talking. I have already received one such example in the form of this picture:


I won't tell you who this is from, but I will say that I can and do appreciate the gesture.

I'm not going to get too optimistic about the Cubs' chances this year because I have learned (over and over again) that this organization thrives on letting down its fans in the most heart-dropping, ball-squeezing ways imaginable. If you think that my use of hyperbole is not warranted, that it borders on being reckless, then you do not know what it means to be a fan of the worst franchise in the history of organized sports. Ever.

One of the few things that brings me solace is the fact that I have only been a fan for some twenty plus years. There are scores of people who have had to deal with this teams bullshit for 50 years, 60, 70, 80--you get the point. Did I mention that the radio hadn't even been invented prior to the last time the Cubs won the World Series? For all we know, it may have never happened.

So how have the off season and early stages of Spring Training been for the Cubs? Well, the team didn't address its need for quality starting pitching. Bedard and Haren were both moved to new teams, and I'm not sure why the Cubs didn't try to get in on that. Was it too costly (financially and/or in the number of prospects needed to make a deal)? Maybe. But I'm convinced that the Hendry's love affair with having 25 available second basemen had something to do with it. The Cubs did get Fukodome, which rocks; but they were swept by the D-Backs in last years playoffs due to poor or over matched pitching. Hendry did sign Jon Lieber, who will compete with other lame-ducks like Jason Marquis and Ryan Dumpster for a starting pitching position. Yeah, mediocrity!

Mark DeRosa, last years team MVP, was diagnosed with arterial dysrhythmia and had a procedure yesterday to correct the irregular heartbeat. Fantastic. I guess Hendry will pursue Brian Roberts more aggressively to ensure that the second base position is absolutely covered. DeRosa will be back with the team next week and is "expected" (past expectations, when it comes to health, haven't been positive for the Cubs--see Broglio, Wood, Prior, to name a select few) to be back to full-speed workouts by the 7th. Note: Patterson, Theriot, Cedeno, DeRosa, Fontenot, Cintron, Soriano all can and have played second base.

One of the newest members of the Cubs, relief pitcher Jose Ascanio, was punched in the face after someone tried to rob him. No respect. That's what happens when you sign with the Cubs. And Fukodome got hit by a pitch from Noah Lowry in his first plate appearance. Just what the Cubs need. Then some asshole on ESPN said that the Cubs aren't reporting any injuries, "which is a good thing." Thanks, prick. You had to say something to spark an inevitable jinx for the most jinxed team in baseball.

Finally, if you aren't aware the Cubs are owned by the Tribune--a poorly written newspaper whose articles tend to incorporate bias as liberally as an overly opinionated blog. The Tribune Company was purchased by billionaire Sam Zell for an obscene amount of money. He plans on selling the Cubs, but not Wrigley Field. This douche-bag wants to sell the naming rights to Wrigley Field because doing so could fetch between $20 and $50 million dollars annually for the next 20 years. The man is in his eighties. Chances are, he doesn't have 20 years left in the tank. Sound heartless on my part? Well, heartlessness loves company.

Douchey McDouche-bag is one greedy son of a douche. So much so that he is willing to pimp out the name of this historic and iconic ballpark. I know some people might say that Wrigley is a corporate name, but it's not the same as PetCo Park, or SafeCo and U.S. Cellular fields. The field was renamed to Wrigley in 1926 to honor the owner, William Wrigley Jr., not the chewing gum company that shared his name. When you go to Wrigley, you're not pegged with quarter-priced packs of Big Red and Juicy Fruit. There is little to no association within the friendly confines that would suggest such a thing. Sam Zell, when you make comments like, "when I bought the Tribune, I didn't get a discount because I wasn't going to use the naming rights that field represents," and, "I won't hesitate to sell Wrigley's naming rights," you expose your greedy, selfish ways for all of Chicago to see. And you will become the most hated man in the city if these plans come to fruition.

Son of a bitch looks like a fucking Billy Goat, too. I think I have an idea as to how this season's going to play out. It doesn't look good.

Please don't think of me some sort of pessimist. I assure you that my cynicism isn't a conscious decision. Years of frustration have warped my sense of hope. Dreams are the illusions of childhood ignorance. It would happen to you, too, if you wasted your time constantly rooting for a dead horse.

My Ideal 2008 Starting Line-Up

CF Curtis Granderson

SS Jimmy Rollins

LF Matt Holliday

1B Derrek Lee

RF Vladimir Guerrero

3B David Wright

C Joe Mauer

2B Brandon Phillips

P Johan Santana

The rest of the pitching rotation

2. Carlos Zambrano

3. Josh Beckett

4. Eric Bedard

5. Brandon Webb

Closer

Jonathan Papelbon

No Yankees allowed on my team.  What would your dream line-up look like for the 2008 season?  I didn't include bullpen (aside from closer) or bench players, but feel free to do so with yours.

Ya Damn Skippy

I got mine.  Now my stash will be mo-bile.  Thank you, Diana, for the tote, and thank you, Clisbee, for the delivery.  Drinks are in order.  

On a side note, I haven't used my camera since my cousin Dave's wedding back in December.  When I loaded the above tote picture onto my computer, I saw the these pics for the first time since that weekend.  These are the only two pictures I took at the wedding:

Yeah, I'm an idiot.

A New Hope

Joe has never seen, nor does he ever want to see, any of the Star Wars movies.  In fact, he told me that he wants his tombstone to read, "I've never seen Star Wars."  Or something to that effect.  His refusal to see the movies increases exponentially when confronted by a Star Wars fan that gets pissed off when they find out he has no desire to ever watch them.  Joe, since you have no intention of watching Star Wars, at least watch and listen to a three-year-old describe the plot.

Meet the Falker

ESPN Bracket Buster Weekend.  SIU will host Nevada at 3:30 p.m. today--a match-up that would have been titanic the last few seasons.  Both teams haven't faired too well this year, but it should still be a good game. 

To Nevada's low post players, beware of Randal Falker.  He might just posterize you.

You've been warned.  Go SIU!

Another effect of global warming?

The venerable Diana Joseph recently posted a blog which shed light on a startling—some might say horrifying—truth that even the casual confectionary aficionado might be otherwise hesitant to divulge. In response to a brilliant suggestion posed by some heroic unknown—a Robin Hood of candy suggestions, really—Ms. Joseph revealed that she is unable to refrain from allowing certain candy, and their components, the time it takes for the bar to reach its full potential. I’m talking about the act of freezing the Twix Java. She writes, “while I can imagine—I can almost know –the chewy pull freezing would grant the caramel, I am also here to tell you, I'll never know it. Because the Twix Java wouldn't last in my freezer long enough to reach a frozen state.” Tragic. What brings a tear to my eye is that the lack of experience with this frozen candy has blinded Ms. Joseph of what it takes to get to that “chewy pull.”

People, you don’t bite into the frozen Twix Java; it won’t let you. You grip it with your teeth, apply a slight amount of upward or downward force to the excess part of the bar with your fingers, and the Twix snaps clean. The cross-section is smooth like a small block of dark, polished shale. The freezing process has little effect on the shortbread cookie. It will still dissolve with saliva or crumble between your teeth and the dollop of hard caramel if you let it. But your teeth will not enter the caramel so easily. There will be resistance. It will be hesitant and say, No. Timeout. I’m not ready, yet.

The caramel will warm and get softer, your teeth will sink and settle, its apprehensions will begin to ease up. You’ll begin to chew, and this is when you’ll experience the frozen pull. The caramel will find comfort in the warmth of your mouth and release its coffee flavor. It will relax. It will stick to your teeth and stretch out like taffy on a pull in a candy shop window. Each remaining bite will have a similar effect. Due to the volume of the caramel, it won’t thaw quickly. You’ll have time to enjoy.

It aims to please.

Unfortunately, Ms. Joseph might never have the chance to experience this treat. She suffers from a condition known as candy consumption haste (CCH). CCH has been known to cause a dislike of white chocolate and cereal dust. In one rare case, a person was said to have given an entire box of Twix Java bars to David Clisbee when he didn’t even ask for them. CCH can do that to you.

If you would like to help Diana Joseph combat CCH, donations can be made to the ISYFTW foundation. With every donation, Diana will come one step closer to achieving the dream of experiencing the Twix Java the way God intended it. Frozen.

Rumor has it that if you act now, you may be eligible to receive an ISYFTW foundation tote with your donation. They can be used to carry around your candy stash—or any kind of stash, for that matter. But know this: the Twix Java is a limited edition candy bar. You may just run out of time.


Jorge's Tote

Oh. My. God.

Do you see what I see? That's Slimer, baby. And he's back in what msn.com is calling one of the most anticipated video games of 2008. Ghostbusters: The Video Game. More like most anticipated game ever (for this guy, at least). The only movie I quote more frequently than Ghostbusters is Wayne's World, so you must know this: I am giddy, more so than when I heard my mom won the lottery. Why, you might ask, is this video game so special? It's not like they're releasing Ghostbusters 3. And if I were in Boston, I'd say, "Stawp right there."

The game script is being written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis! Oh. My. God. Also, character voices in the game, they'll be done by the original actors themselves. That means Bill Murray as Peter Venkman! (omg)

The clip says that it will be released for most gaming consoles. If the game is not produced for PS2--the system I own--then it looks like I'm going to have to change my tax rebate plans. Economy, prepare to be stimulated. The Ghostbusters are back!

Ray "Huey Lewis" Parker, Jr.

The Game

Old School

The Others

Today is dedicated to Baron Davis and the Golden State Warriors. With a game winning fade-away before the buzzer, Davis handed the Boston Celtics their 11th loss. This ensures that the '95-'96 Bulls record of 72-10 will remain the greatest of all time for at least another season. Monte Ellis, one of the leagues best kept secrets, chipped in with 26 points. I was fortunate enough to pick him up off waivers in my fantasy league last season, which raises the question, why was I playing fantasy basketball? It was free, and I needed other people to talk to at work besides Dorger.

A lot of people are talking about how the West has turned into the dominate conference with players like Shaq, Gasol, and Kidd going over to the Suns, Lakers, and Mavs, respectively. But we can't forget that Boston is 16-2 against the West this season, so it will be interesting to see how this plays out in June.

The Blackhawks beat the Wild last night, 3-0. It was Khabibulin's first shutout in almost a year. Ah, another expensive Chicago experiment gone wrong. Joe was lucky enough to catch the game live, and I was able to watch it on TV since the Hawks were playing Minnesota. It's still weird to see Hawks home games on TV--the former dictator, Bill Wirtz, refused to play home games on TV in an attempt to get people to come out to the United Center. That never made sense to me. How can the city get excited about a team when half of their games can only be heard on the radio? People want to see Byfuglien (pronounced BUFF-LIN and not BY-FOOG-LEE-IN like I originally thought) lay out several of the Wild's players with those violent open-ice hip- and cross-checks. By not televising home games, the team is missing out on a lot of local advertising on the boards that could generate extra revenue, money that could be spent on building a better team. This was the Hawks third win in four games, and while they are last in their division, they're above .500 and still in the playoff race. I don't remember the last time the Hawks were over .500 this late in the season.

SIU seems to be getting back on track, too. They blew out Northern Iowa last night and have won four out of their last five games (including one over 15th ranked Drake). Matt Shaw had 23 points (8-9 from the field, 4-4 from 3pt range) and 9 rebounds. Where have you been all season, buddy? It sucks to say, but unless the Salukis win the MVC tournament I don't think they'll have a chance to extend their consecutive appearances in the big dance to seven. They had one of the toughest strength of schedules this year, and they were picked to win their conference in the preseason by all of the experts--the kiss of death.

The Bulls? Disaster. They lost again. They need to go after Chris Bosh (see video below) in the offseason because I don't know how much longer Joe Smith will last. Noah and Wallace aren't offensive-minded players, Thomas can't stay on the floor for more than two minutes without slapping someone, and Gray isn't getting enough playing time. The Bulls don't have a legitimate big-man. Teaming Gray with Bosh would spread the opponent's defense and allow for more open jumps, widen the driving lane, and give Bulls fans a sense of hope.





Baseball season needs to start today. I can't wait.

Total Eclipse of the Heartland

The news said that the total lunar eclipse will occur in this area at around 9:01 p.m. tonight.  I'm not sure if I can see the moon from any of my windows.  If not, screw it.  Too damn cold.

Who am I? I'm a fucking veteran.

I spoke with my dad the other day.  It was great to hear from him, but I swear, every time we speak he sounds like he's turning into Walter Sobchak from The Big Lebowski.  

Not that he's going to pull a gun in a bowling alley or bite someone's ear off, he just says really random things and gets off his grid by speaking to himself or tangentially ranting.  Speaking of tangential, I think this might be one of my favorite words.  It sounds like some sort of orange dreamsicle flavored pudding pop.  Am I off-base on that one?  Anyways, he's visiting Mankato this summer and some of my uncles might show up, too.  We're going fishing.  Where--I'm not sure, yet.  I'll need some suggestions from people in the area.  

And if anyone's down for fishing anytime, let me know.

I picked the wrong profession

This guy spent $14 million on a vanity license plate with the number 1 on it.  Why? 

    "...I want to be the best in the world."

Not sure if any of his oil buddies told him he could have made a license plate or shirt for less, but that's not the point.  Apparently, vanity license plates have raked in over $74 million in Abu Dhabi over the last six auctions.  A plate with the number five on it sold for $6.8 million.  I'm moving there with a metal press and a list of available numbers. 

The Wall Street Journal listed this mansion as "house of the week."  The asking price is $25 million and is currently owned by a sugar baron.  Yeah, that's right.  A sugar baron.  Had I known that that was an actual profession/title, my answer to the "what do you want to be when you grow up" question would have been quite different.  (I think I wanted to be a financial advisor or Super Hero.  Same thing, really.)  The title of sugar baron sounds classy and sleazy at the same time.  Perfect.  And it'll get you a $25 million dollar home.  Do you know how powerful you'd be if you controlled international sugar trade?  It's God's greatest drug.

Seriously!?!

Doesn't this seem like some sort of lame sitcom parody?  Can this be real?  And how did this not make it to Bad Music Sunday?

                      

Seriously.  What the fuck.  Maybe for you, but certainly not for me, Hillary.  If I had to make a case against your campaign, I'd just point to the video.  It says it all.

I'm probably going to Hell for this...

Last night, I was flipping through channels when I stopped at C-Span. They were replaying a memorial service for Rep. Tom Lantos--the only Holocaust survivor elected to Congress--who died from esophageal cancer on the 11th. I can't begin to imagine the horrific atrocities he experienced in the Concentration Camps, and my heartfelt sympathy goes out to his family in their time of loss. But the reason I stopped flipping channels to watch C-Span was due to the fact that his wife, Annette, was at the podium speaking.



Again, I am deeply sorry for this family's loss, but I could not get over the artistic license taken around the occular region of Annette's face. I'm not sure if this picture completely captures her liberal use of eye paint. Maybe her sister, Zsa Zsa, never taught her the ins and outs of makeup application. Here's another picture from a better angle, though it's not from the C-Span broadcast. Yeah, I'm a dick.

The tube is my sitter

If you like TV but you're sick of watching or hearing about weak-minded cowards who shoot up schools or lie to oversight committees, if the notion that a phony conservative would endorse great grand-dad after trying to pry the walker from his grasp induces vomiting and seizure, then turn on TCM. They've been playing some damn good movies lately. T.S. Flynn informed me that they've got a 31 Days of Oscar theme running. Each day of the week is dedicated to showing an Oscar winning film from a specific decade. The movies are shown in their entirety, uncut and commercial free.

AMC's got some goodies, too. Their new series Breaking Bad has kept my interest. The series centers on a broke high school chemistry teacher who discovers he has terminal lung cancer. His wife is pregnant, and their son is handicapped. This teacher, Walter, begins to cook crystal meth with a former student in order to provide for his family. Unlike the godawful Showtime original, Weeds, the characters and scenarios in this show are actually interesting and worthy of viewer empathy.

The network will also be broadcasting Clint Eastwood's Letters From Iwo Jima this Saturday, commercial free. It's fantastic. And despite what Michael Savage thinks, it is not an anti-American film. Letters depicts the battle at Iwo Jima from the Japanese side, and because some of the characters are portrayed with compassion and a sense of being human (go figure), there was some negative fallout from conservatives over Eastwood's intentions. If you decide to watch the film, take it for what it is--a character driven account of war, an historical fiction piece. I'm not sure if AMC will do any editing, but there are some extremely graphic scenes in the movie, and it's almost entirely subtitled, too. So if you're squeamish when it comes to the grotesque or don't like having to read during movies, then let this be your warning.

How many more times?

Lara, Joe, Dave, Lil--thank God you guys are all right.  This shit is getting old.

Well, the Cubs are fucked...

...but aren't they always?  I mean they're the Cubs.  The Goat, the '69 Mets, Ernie Broglio, The Tribune Company, Leon Durham, Alex Gonzalez--any Cubs fan can tell you how these things relate to the Cubs being the worst franchise in the history of organized sports.  I don't include Bartman because he had nothing to do with anything (see anyone else in the stands going for that ball?).  

Don't get me wrong, I love the Cubs.  Which is why I'm so upset about this.  Ryan Dumpster, you have shown us your inability to close out games time and time again over the past few season.  Why would you publicly say something like that, knowing this teams history of choking and not living up to expectations?  I mean, I like the confidence.  Every player should be in the mindset that their team is good enough to win it all.  But the Cubs aren't just any team.  They're special--in a bad way.  

My prediction for the 2008 season--Cubs have a worse record than the White Sox, but still win the NL Central because the division will resemble that of a triple-A league.  

Day of the Douche Bags

On the day that Cubs pitchers and catchers report to spring training in an attempt to break their 100 year title-less drought, the U.S. House of Representatives are holding the Clemens-NcNamee hearing. And things aren't looking too good for either one of these guys. Clemens can't sit still or look any of the reps in the eye when answering their questions. His wife, Debbie, and his best friend and former teammate, Andy Pettitte, have both contradicted Clemens's testimony. But NcNamee hasn't helped himself, either. He admitted that some of his previous testimony is untrue--a loose stitch that I'm sure Clemens's lawyers will tug at if this whole mess ends up in court. I think they have enough to discredit NcNamee and would be able to plant the seed of doubt in a jury if this turns into a perjury case. I don't care who's telling the truth, they're both assholes. Thanks for further tarnishing the integrity of the greatest game ever made, douche bags.

Here's another gem. Kelvin Sampson and his staff have allegedly violated restrictions placed on Indiana University's program. He is on probation for recruiting infractions from his previous head coaching job at OU. And while the recruiting tactics he used to sign Eric Gordon were legal, it was shitty that he didn't communicate his intentions to Bruce Webber, coach of the Fighting Illini, the team to which Gordon originally committed. I hope Sampson gets what's coming to him.

Hats off to Roy Scheider

This movie emotionally scarred me when I was a kid.  Whenever I was exiting the pool at Sunset, I would race up the ladder like Jaws was chasing me.  And murky hotel pools always made me weary because I wasn't sure if chlorine gave Jaws the power of invisibility, though I probably should have been more weary about why the water in hotel pools was always semi-opaque.  

WHALE

Mr. Johnson recently proclaimed his affinity for Amy Grant's "Baby, Baby" and asked his readers to name their guilty pleasure songs.  Mine, as my close friends know, is "Dream Weaver" by Gary Wright.  It's a Wayne's World thing, I guess.  But I had totally forgotten about this song:

                       

I first saw this video on Beavis & Butt-Head, way back when.  It was stuck in my head for a whole summer.  The video made me think that its contents were those of an acid trip, which deterred me from dabbling in that drug throughout my junior high career.  D.A.R.E. should have been all over this.  It seems pretty tame, now.

Here's ironic for you.  Rachel Velez and myself won the D.A.R.E. essay contest in fifth grade.  They had a first place for girls and boys.  The prize included the following: reading the essay in front of the school and getting to sit in the D.A.R.E. car at the Fourth of July parade.  We had to say what we liked about the program and list reasons as to how drugs would stop us from achieving our goals.  Rachel skipped the parade, and I decided to walk with the football team (yeah, Golden Eagles!) instead.  Had we gone to the parade, there may have been hope for us.

My essay was bullshit.  I wanted to become a rock star, and I'm quite certain that a steady drug regiment is a prerequisite for such dreams.  Needless to say, the ideals and teachings of the D.A.R.E program didn't stick.  But I do wish I had gotten the ride in that car.  It was a '49 Mercury convertible, as I remember.  Though my memory has been influenced to suggest otherwise.  

O, my.

I knew it wasn't completely my fault! Thanks, Fox. You always know how to brighten up my day.

Gotta love that Fox slips in the fact that this report shows married couples don't experience these problems as frequently as those who have never been married, are divorced, or those who have survived their spouse.

No reason for sex outside of marriage, says Fox. You'll have trouble getting off!

Yellow Journalism

The Senate passed the stimulus plan, and keeping with this administration's track record of fiscal responsibility, the package will total around $170 billion (the initial proposal was for $145 billion).  If you made between $3K and $75K last year, your rebate will be either $300 or $600.  I'm not sure what the threshold for getting the $600 will be, but I imagine I'll be able to buy that new TV I ranted on a few days ago or a whole mess of lead-painted toys.  Either way, the products will most likely come from China, in addition to the borrowed money that will pay for this economic Band-Aid.

There is hope for the future.  Mitt Romney yanked the rug out from under himself today!  He has suspended his push for the White House in an attempt to get the national GOP campaign off against the Dems.  Does this mean he'll start patting McCain on the back after so many friendly encounters these past few months?  Huckabee's got no chance.  McCain knows that, Romney knows it, and Huckabee is aware of the situation himself.  Looks like Chuck Norris is the only one who is still in denial.

Did you know, "Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it's a Chucktatorship"?

Lou Dobbs is probably making a mess in his underpants over this.  The town of Danbury, Connecticut will begin cracking down on illegal immigration.  Local law enforcement will assist federal officials in an attempt to enforce immigration laws.  Damn Canadians.  Stay on your side of the border!  I refuse to believe that the state of Connecticut, based on their geographic location, would be talking about any other immigrants than those surly Habs.  Maybe I'm just ignorant. But this decision couldn't have come sooner, as Danbury's crime rate is obscene and well above the national average.  And who's to blame?  Illegal immigrants, of course.  They're the reason for all of our country's troubles.  The economy, the war in Iraq, the Britney Spears faux pas ticker (updated every half hour), this coarse hair growing out of my prostate--wait a minute.  I'm not supposed to know about that, yet.  Leave this place, you!

Obama-rama

The streets of Mankato were empty at eight o'clock last night, save for Hoffman Road.  More specifically, the traffic was concentrated around Mankato East High School.  This was the site for the Democratic and Republican caucuses on super Tuesday.  The Mankato Free Press stated that Dems could show up at 6:30pm to sign in and vote.  If you wanted to stay for the sub-caucus, you'd be able to do so.  

I had to run some errands yesterday, so I tried to time my trip to Target accordingly with the start of the caucus.  The problem lies in the fact that I have anxiety issues brought on by the fear of being late to specified places.  So by the time I was finished shopping, it was 5:30pm--a full hour before the start of the caucus.  I decided to go to Barnes & Noble (where I picked up a hardcover copy of T.C. Boyle's Tooth and Claw for $5.98!) and waste some time there.  I left the store at six thinking it was later.  I also developed quite the headache while shopping (I'm kind of a "lets-get-in, lets-get-out" shopper).  

I refused to go home for two reasons: 1. I didn't want to risk getting caught in some sort of freak Mankato traffic jam on Madison because I knew that if there ever would be a time for one, it would be at that moment; and 2. I was too close to the high school to go home, then turn around and come back.  Passing the high school on my way to Happy Joe's for Aspirin, I noticed a small collection of cars turning into the parking lots.  Nothing too alarming.  I wasn't at the gas station for more than a few minutes, and I was able to get out of there pretty easily.  When I got back to the high school, the parking lots and the traffic had gotten considerably worse.  People were inventing their own parking spots, blocking exits in the process.

I didn't enter the school until a few minutes before 6:30, and I wasn't able to find out which precinct I belonged to until ten-to-seven.  One map for one hundred people--no good.  The DFL wasn't as prepared as I assumed they would be (considering they were expecting a record turnout).  There wasn't enough room in the HomeEc class designated for my precinct to hold everyone that showed up.  Our precinct representative didn't exist, either. We were told that a rep would show up with a large, brown envelope that contained the sign-in sheet and ballots.  At a quarter-to-eight, a woman with a large, white envelope showed up and told us that we needed to choose a representative.  An undergrad with whom I had a class last semester volunteered and got right down to business.  Great job, John!  That business consisted of printing our names and addresses on a blank piece of copier paper (there was only one official sign-in sheet, and that filled up quickly), then scrawling a candidate's name on a separate square of paper that we stuffed into an envelope that John held up.  

By the time I left that room, it was nearly eight o'clock, and I could see other precincts had already begun the sub-caucus portion of their meetings.  The parking lot was a free for all.  As I mentioned earlier, the exits were blocked by parked cars.  Someone decided to drive over the sidewalk to leave the green lot, and the rest of the cars soon followed.  It wasn't too bad, though--getting out of the Rosemont Horizon parking lot is a thousand times worse.  And it was great to see the huge turnout--there were still people filing in when I was leaving.  The best part, Obama took the state 67% to 32% (82% reporting)!

Anyone see his stump speech late last night, or his address at American University when Ted and Caroline Kennedy gave their official endorsements to him?  Obama could read from the phone book and people would flip out.  He's a rock star.  

Negative reviews--whether it be for movies, music, or books--are usually a fine source of entertainment.  Amazon.com is a fantastic source for negative reviews.  For books, you either find some pedantic rant about how pretentious the writing is, ultimately displaying the portentous nature of the reviewer; or you'll get a short blurb about how the reviewer didn't "get it", thought that the message/content was beneath them ("It was a waste of the 3 hours it took me to read the entire thing."  Good for you, Speed Reader!), or they simply didn't finish the book.  (How can you review a book that you haven't even finished?)  

One- and two-star reviews have never turned me away from reading a book, nor have they ever made me upset.  I've never felt the need to defend a book to someone who didn't like it because taste is subjective.  Even critiques on the writing--style, use of metaphor, voice--don't get me up in arms, making me want to beat some sense into the person reviewing the book.

I read Joan Didion's, The Year of Magical Thinking this weekend for my contemporary prose class.  Didion chronicles the year following the death of her husband, which occurred while their only daughter was in a coma.  It might be the most heart-wrenching piece of nonfiction I've ever read.  This is because of how the information is released.  Didion avoids telling the reader the emotions she feels.  She doesn't have to.  Her actions tell you exactly what she's feeling.

Some of the negative reviews on Amazon.com for this book really got to me.  People suggested that she was cold, analytical, that she's both showing off her ability to research in addition to dropping names that any Googler could have done.  They say they wanted to experience the typical emotions felt when a person is grieving: despair, trauma, desperation. 

These people missed it, I'm sorry to say.  Yes, she's cold and she's constantly citing various works and publications (whose quotes cannot be found on Google).  But this is how she's dealing with the loss of her husband, a person who has been by her side for 40 years.  She's looking for answers; she wants to understand how and why this happened; and she keeps looking back to see if there were ways that she could have foreseen this event.  She wonders whether she could have prevented her husband's death.  

Her refusal to accept his death, the massive amount of research in an attempt to gain an understanding on this situation, and the constant replaying of events that are connected to his death show the reader how she is handling herself.  There is plenty of despair, desperation, trauma, and heartache in this book.  But Didion is not going to tell you that.  She shows you. There are a handful of lines that reoccur throughout this book that are calculated and relevant, and these lines show you how she's holding back and subconsciously refusing to accept that which has happened.

I guess it's the fact that these wannabe NY Times reviewers were hard on Didion's character that upset me.  Not everyone deals with loss the same way, but to suggest that Didion reacted incorrectly because those readers weren't able to identify that she was grieving is irresponsible. 

But then I check these reviewers other reviews.  How to play tennis, Oprah Book Club books, and Dan Brown got good reviews.  Hmm.  Does that put their credibility into question, or am I just an asshole?  I'm not saying that everyone has to like this book.  If you don't like it, fine.  It's just the negative things that people had to say about it irked me, is all.  

This guy is the best reviewer on Amazon.com.  He dishes out poor reviews like Bush cuts taxes for the wealthy.

18-1!

Well, the first team to go 16-0 in the regular season has a perfect ending--a Super Bowl loss.  I think, as Joe put it, that the arrogance of Belichick and the rest of the Pats made me root for Eli and the Giants.  Even though that means we have to listen to members of the '72 Dolphins pat themselves on the back for their 17-0 season (including playoffs and Super Bowl), I'm still glad the Giants won.  

What was almost as impressive as the win was the way it happened.  Holding Tom Brady and the most potent offense in NFL history to just 14 points and driving the ball in the last two plus minutes of the game for a winning TD made this game one of the best Super Bowl's I've ever seen.

It was also refreshing to see a halftime show that had an act football fans would actually want to watch.  Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, Janet Jackson, 'N Sync--these are not the performers that the average football fan prefers.  The commercials, overall, were pretty lame, but I can't help wonder how many hits godaddy.com received for their "watch Danika Patrick expose her beaver on the web" commercial.  I know I checked it out.

I'm blogging...

I started this blog in an attempt to get myself writing on a more frequent basis.  I spend more time thinking about writing than I do actual writing.  This, obviously, is a problem being that I am currently enrolled in a writing program.

The subjects of my posts are yet to be determined, meaning there is no general theme to this blog.  It's likely going to be about whatever is currently on my mind that I feel compelled to write about.  With that said, I don't mean for this to be like a diary; rather, I'm hoping that I can accomplish two things: 

1. Free my mind of any thoughts that may be mucking up or keeping me from writing/finishing stories in progress.

2. Keep me in the habit of writing.

SIU hosts the Devil's Kitchen Literary Festival each year.  When I was I senior, there was a panel discussion where one of the writers said that writer's block doesn't exist.  You can always write something, she had said, even if it's shit.  It's when the writer refuses, or fears, to write something bad that they place blame on writer's block.  I agree with this assessment, but I also have other things to blame for my lack of writing.  For example, syndicated episodes of Seinfeld are always a good reason to delay writing for another half hour, even if I have already seen the "magic-lugee" episode a couple dozen times.  I get distracted easily, I put writing off until the last minute, there's suddenly something that must be done or the universe will collapse within itself.

I read an excerpt from Walter Mosley's This Year You Write Your Novel from the March/April 2007 issue of Poets & Writers.  He says that a writer should write no less than an hour and a half a day.  While he says this in reference to being able to finish a novel within the next year, I believe that in order to be a successful writer--successful in the sense that you write something worth reading, not successful in the monetary sense--writing every day is vital.  The writer needs to make time.

I figure that I if I make myself update this blog daily, I'll feel compelled to take the momentum and finish up one of my stories, revise one of my disasters, or get an idea for a new potential failure.  Even if this isn't the best mindset to have, at least I'll be writing.

The Super Bowl is tomorrow, the college basketball season is approaching its apex, pitchers and catchers report for spring training in less than two weeks, and there's some sort of election in November I heard something about in passing the other day.  I have a feeling these items will be the subject of one or many rants on this page.